NEWS (now with FACTS)

NEWS (Now with Facts)
Sunday, January 15, 2006
The Anchorman

Kate O’Beirne, Washington DC village idiot and editor of the National Review, has recently written a book entitled Women Who Make the World Worse: and How Their Radical Feminist Assault Is Ruining Our Schools, Families, Military, and Sports, a scathing assault on feminism, from which O’Beirne has not benefited from at all.

The premise of Kate’s book is that women who want equality are “making the world worse” because they approve of…. you know… Equality. Which if reaches its full potential would mean that men will be forced to give birth, and women will have to pee standing up. Another glum characteristic of an equal state is “Sex in the City”, a show frequently attacked by O’Beirne, will become mandatory viewing in schools. The apparent forced discussions of “vagina depression” will lead to nothing but more terrorism.

“I don’t see why so many people are upset with the premises of the book,” said O’Beirne, while cooking dinner for her husband who had a hard day at the office. “Feminists are destroying our country by making it seem like women are capable of doing things a man can do. Like working full-time, making decisions for themselves, or getting paid equal wages on the dollar. I don’t want that kind of responsibility and I’m assuming, without thinking, no woman does.”

“The Christian faith clearly points out that it was women who sinned first. Even Muslim heathens believe that women are lesser than men. So, am I stepping out of bounds by believing that women should cook and clean to please their men for a living?”

“No,” concluded O’Beirne as she began to clean her husband's feet.

In a related story, misogynists everywhere are upset with O’Beirne’s husband for not “smacking the talk out of that woman,” and “allowing her to write a book.” A claim O’Beirne vehemently denies.

Reporting from the local village idiots house,
The Anchorman