Monday, January 09, 2006


New Orleans no longer needs help; Thanks anyway

NEWS (Now with Facts)
Monday, January 09, 2006
The Anchorman

Only months after Hurricane Katrina ravaged New Orleans destroying homes, businesses, and killing Americans, the city has “almost 100% completely recovered”, according to the White House press release.

Newly renovated home ready for occupants!

“The great people of New Orleans have shown that they are capable of recuperating from almost 26 billion dollars worth of damage and loss,” said President Bush yesterday while speaking at a hospital in Michigan, “almost in a blink of an eye.”

When asked if he was going to assign federal money to build better levees to protect New Orleans from future hurricanes and floods. President Bush responded “Why? I don’t think you read the press release, New Orleans is O-K. I have personally seen satellite photos of the whole area and it looks just like any other city.”

“Therefore, everything is fine.”

In addition to satellite photos, the White House determined New Orleans’s status through the lack of news coverage of the destruction. “The news had decreased significantly around the holidays and as of today has practically ceased,” remarked FEMA director David Paulison. “The only logical conclusion is that if there is no news coverage, there is no problem.”

Another source used in the press release was the lack of money going to New Orleans’s rebuilding effort. “American’s are generous people, if they stop donating to a cause then that is probably because the cause has been solved,” reiterated a convinced Paulison.

Reporting from the White House,
The Anchorman

Thanks for blogging about New Orleans. No, we're not alright, as you and a handful of others seem to realize. We can rebuild our city, but we're going to need levees to protect us from future hurricanes first. Otherwise, who will build and live here?
From New Orleans,
I can understand why Bush dreams New Orleans would be back to normal already. His tax cuts true effects wouldn't be scene until after he left office without Katrina now the direct impact of the cuts sadly will be easy for all to see.
Well Thank Goodness everything's good in New Orleans! Otherwise, one might have been worried that perhaps the media had found other pastures because the American People were just kinda... you know... tired of hearing about that little "New Orleans thing".
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